Why do we hate Friends Ross Geller so much? Psychologist reveals its us thats the problem

BURBANK, CA - SEPTEMBER 12: (EXCLUSIVE, NO U.S. TABLOID SALES) David Schwimmer, who plays Ross on the hit NBC series "Friends," performs during one of their last shows on the Warner Bros lot Sept. 12, 2003 in Burbank, CA. "Friends," which is in its ninth and final season, debuted in 1994, has won 44 Emmys, and is one of the biggest successes in television history. (Photo by David Hume Kennerly/Getty Images) This image is not included in any subscription deal. Use of this image will incur a charge.

Ross, Ross, Ross, what will we do with you? (Picture: Getty Images North America)

Why do we hate Friends character Ross Geller so much?

The palaeontologist seems harmless enough but for some reason viewers, 25 years after the premiere of the sitcom, just cant stand the fella.

Sure other characters, perhaps his sister Monica for one, can be grating, but Ross, what with his womanising ways, patronising comments and dramatic reactions, brushed up audiences the wrong way.

Hes seemingly likeable on the surface and is trying his best to be everything to everyone. But it doesnt work, does it?

Sorry to say, its our own fault.

In psychology, it is noted that the things that irritate us, are often the things that we dislike about ourselves. Like holding up a mirror, people get angry at Ross because he has every characteristic that we dislike in people, and many of us can relate to his behaviour, organisational psychologist Karen Kwong told Metro.co.uk as she served up the truth bombs.

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We see him in partners or ex-partners, friends and sometimes even ourselves, and this unsettles us as an audience. At times, his insecurity and childish reactions almost remove the humour from the show and presents us with something serious, real and painful.

As Kwong continued, she noted the character is fundamentally insecure and in turn almost tried too hard to present himself as superior to compensate.

FRIENDS -- "The One with Rachel's Sister" Episode 13 -- Aired 2/3/2000 -- Pictured: (l-r) David Schwimmer as Ross Geller, Reese Witherspoon as Jill Green (Photo by NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

To many, hes the worst (Picture: NBC Universal, Inc)

She continued: At times, he comes across as controlling, homophobic, selfish, and arrogant and he is secretive and possessive. And more than anything else, his insecurities really manifest in emotional immaturity – in the way he interacts with his girlfriends and friends.

The poor lad means well but according to Kwong, it seems viewers are left focusing on his emotional shortcomings rather than any attractive qualities.

That and, well, he can make us feel uncomfortable. And no one enjoys feeling uncomfortable. If you do, thats for another time.

He can bring about huge feelings of discomfort as we may recognise some of his less than palatable behavioural traits in ourselves when watching the show. And doing it through comedy worsens this uneasiness, Kwong said.

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Ross is an exaggerated version of our insecurities in so many ways. And whilst no one is perfect, Ross reminds us of this in quite a confrontational way.

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Kwong agrees a long-held view that Ross was the most problematic of the six characters. But the other five have traits that are perhaps a little more amusing to us, a little more, dare we say, acceptable. And they evolved in their shortcomings. For Ross, he never stopped clinging to his insecurities much like we can never seem to forgive him for encouraging Rachel to get off the plane.

Rest assured if you harbour some level of hatred towards the guy, know its not necessarily a bad thing.

Pinning our emotions to fictional characters is incredibly normal and in recognising traits and behaviours in ourselves, on a good day, they can bring about some self-reflection and they can also shape us as people at times, Kwong enthused.

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