In an attempt to outdo a lunatic fashion designer on a French-set episode of Knowing Me Knowing You our intrepid talk show host sets about revealing his own collection of ‘sports casual’ wear. We’ll take two of those pastel blue short suits please.
What to quote: ‘The look…imperial leisure.’
8 The ‘Dan’ moment (I’m Alan Partridge Series 2 Ep 3)
Having made a new friend in the shape of kitchen salesman Dan Moody (Stephen Mangan), Alan spots him across a car park and decides to call him. Repeatedly (all together now: ‘Dan! Dan! Dan! DAN!’ Etc). The friendship sadly grinds to an abrupt halt before the episode’s end when Alan discovers Dan and his wife to be swingers, cue his horrified cry of ‘You’re sex people….!’
What to quote: ‘Dan! Dan! Dan! DAN!’ (oh you get the drift….)
9 Alan’s James Bond rant (I’m Alan Partridge series 2, ep 4)
Alan discovers that Michael’s friend Terry has accidentally taped America’s Strongest Man over his copy of The Spy Who Loved Me – and responds as only he can, by acting out the whole of the opening sequence – and getting increasingly annoyed when others try to join in.
What to quote: ‘Stop getting Bond wrong!’
10 Sidekick Simon Winds Alan up (Alan Partridge Mid Morning Matters)
One of the best moments from Alan’s Sky Atlantic show came after Sidekick Simon tried to convince him the Inland Revenue had been in touch, leading him to casually declare his tax affairs on air. Until he found out it was a wind-up – and we suspect from his reaction his colleague won’t be trying that one again in a hurry.
What to quote: ‘You are this to me…you are nothing!’
11 Alan is definitely not driving a Mini Metro (I’m Alan Partridge Series 1 Ep 2)
Alan’s company is in danger of being made bankrupt, but that doesn’t make any difference to his choice of car now does it?
What to quote: ‘I’m not driving a Mini Metro…!’
12 Apology to the Farmer’s Union (I’m Alan Partridge Series 1 Ep 3)
After managing to offend most of Norfolk’s farmers in the space of one radio show, Alan ends up having to apologise to Farmers’ Union rep Peter Baxendale-Thomas (Chris Morris) on his next show – only to end up hurling a string of increasingly ridiculous insults his way (culminating in claims about farmers raising giant chickens and sleeping with siblings) and annoying the local farming community even more. So much so that they drop a cow on him.
What to quote: ‘You feed beefburgers to swans.’
Alan Partridge: Why, When, Where, How and Whom? airs on BBC Two on Wednesday night at 9pm.