10 anti-Valentine’s Day films to watch on Netflix

10 anti-Valentine’s Day films to watch on Netflix
Films to put you off romance (Picture: Netflix)

Recently gone through a traumatic break-up?

Perhaps you’re struggling to find anyone worthy of a first date, or are experiencing the woes of unrequited love?

In any of these situations, you might be dreading the prospect of the 14 February.

Well, alongside its hundreds of mushy, happy-ever-after romances, Netflix has a whole host of films perfect for those who currently don’t feel like, or believe in, celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Here’s a look at ten movies that should help make you glad you’re free and single:

The Squid and the Whale

This semi-autobiographical tale from indie darling Noah Baumbach will certainly leave you feeling relieved that you no longer have to cope with an irritating other half.

Nominated for three Golden Globes, The Squid and the Whale sees two boys forced to deal with the increasingly bitter fallout between their parents (Laura Linney and Jeff Daniels), an unlikeable Brooklyn couple who should have signed their divorce papers a long time ago.

Friends with Kids

Directed by its leading lady Jennifer Westfeldt, this 2011 rom-com doesn’t entirely shy away from the happy ending cliché, but you have to wade through a lot of messy relationship angst to get to it.

Alongside the unorthodox parental arrangement between Westfeldt’s investment advisor and her long-time best friend (Adam Scott), Friends with Kids also features Jon Hamm and Kristen Wiig as a couple in the final throes of a marriage more toxic than a nuclear waste dump.

Smashed

This under-rated indie flick shows how destructive a relationship can become should you happen to find yourselves on different pages.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Aaron Paul star as two functioning alcoholics whose relationship is severely tested when the former decides to get clean.

Berlin Syndrome

Recently had a one-night-stand that you now bitterly regret?

Well, this tense, Australian psychological thriller proves that things could have been much much worse.

Berlin Syndrome stars Teresa Palmer (Hacksaw Ridge) as photojournalist Clare Havel who hooks up with Max Riemelt’s (Sense8) seemingly mild-mannered teacher Andi Werner while backpacking across Europe.

But things take a turn for the sinister when, after initially believing she’s been accidentally locked in his apartment the morning after, Clare realises she’s become Andi’s captive.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

This 2006 comedy also proves that things could be much worse, particularly if you’re in the middle of a messy break-up.

Attacking her ex-boyfriend with a giant white shark, throwing his car into space and stripping him using just the power of her mind are just some of the tactics Uma Thurman’s jilted, and slightly deranged, superwoman uses to get her own back after being dumped.

Bride Wars

Bride Wars is supposed to be a lightweight romantic comedy about two longtime BFFs whose friendship is severely tested when they both choose the same day to walk down the aisle.

But their bridezilla behaviour is so abhorrent that it’s enough to put off even the most hopeless romantic from the concept of marriage for life.

What Maisie Knew

Not just one, but three toxic marriages form the centre of this modern-day adaptation of Henry James’ same-named 1897 novel.

What Maisie Knew stars Julianne Moore and Steve Coogan as a constantly warring couple more interested in scoring points against each other than looking after their six-year-old daughter.

And things don’t get much better for the poor young girl when they divorce and hastily enter into new marriages, which become increasingly tangled.

Shame

The story of a New York executive with a sexual addiction and general disconnection to the world, Steve McQueen’s Shame is pretty much the antithesis of a feel-good Hollywood romance.

Indeed, despite plenty of bedroom action and both Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan baring all, this 2011 drama is far more likely to depress than titillate.

Closer

If ever there was a film to make you glad you’re alone this Valentine’s Day, it’s Mike Nichols’ all-star gloomfest, Closer.

Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Jude Law and Natalie Portman all drown in misery in a provocative relationship drama that gets more bitter and twisted with each scene.

Concussion

Not to be confused with the NFL drama of the same name staring Will Smith, Concussion is a modern relationship study that proves we may not always know our partners as well as we think.

Robin Weigert stars as a fortysomething lesbian housewife who, after getting knocked out by her son’s baseball, discovers a new-found sexual desire.

With the cover of a home renovation career, she secretly becomes a high-end escort.

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